First Impressions - L.A. Galaxy 5 : 2 D.C. United

The Jordan rules for the NBA were well now. But with Donovan and Beckham on the Galaxy, it is perhaps fitting that MLS adds its own twist, going for the more extreme version. Enter the LA Starfucker rules...

If it were the red card to Burch alone, that would be one thing. Burch probably was guilty of a foul, but given that you see the same thing along the touchline and goal line in every match, a yellow would have been harsh, let alone a red. It came after a yellow to Clyde Simms for a tackle on Donovan, which was harsh yellow. What's more, Terry Vaughn was not applying the same standard to both sides, which meant the officiating was utterly, utterly fucked for this entire match.

I'm not saying DC gets a win or even a draw if the officiating is a bit more rational. Hell, L.A. certainly could still have put five in the net given that our central defense is a gaping maw of suck, and that Clyde Simms was easily outmatched by Donovan (Clyde was burned on Donovan's first goal, and lost on the second). But I do know that after Terry got a few choice words from Beckham, he folded what was left of his spine into a small paper sack and decided to pass around cards like cucumber sandwiches in a Wilde play (or perhaps just Stoppard's Travesties).

There's more to be said about United, but accepting the fact that we're a mediocre at best team makes it difficult to judge. How do you evaluate against mediocre? If the team's upper limit was higher, it is easier to be critical, but if a 100% United effort is an average output at best, what more can be said? This team was better, despite the scoreline, than the Saprissa team. But our defense is shoddy, our attack is patchwork, and there's just not much there to be hopeful for anymore.

Your goat is Simms. Merit awards to Khumalo and Guerrero.