12 January 2007

Alexi Lala comments on the LA Galaxy Draft

In a conversation with The DCenters. Tape Starts.

On Second Rounder Robbie Findley:

LALA: Can you believe this kid fell so low? When you think of what he can do with Beckham on the wing and Landon in the middle, it's almost criminal how much value we got for this second round pick. Put this down - he's going to be a star. He's like Jozy Altidore, only better. I'll shave my head if he doesn't get more than eight goals his first year.

On Second Rounder Joshua Tudeula

LALA: I like this kid. He's basically what would happen if Beckham and I had a child. I mean, I had flame colored hair, and he played for the Evansville Flame. And he wears #7, just like David Beckham. I mean, that's amazing when you think about it. He's going to make a major contribution to this league. Remember the story of Joshua in the Bible, and how the trumpets would sound and blow down the walls? Well, when our Joshua blows, you better believe things are going to fall down.

On Second Rounder Ty Harden

LALA: Ty Harden shaves his head, just like Bruce Willis and David Beckham have done. In fact, they wanted to call the first Die Hard movie "Ty Harden" but Ty wouldn't let them because the movie was too weak. Walk across broken glass in bare feet? That's for wusses. I saw Harden walk across molten lava then cover his feet with honey and stick it in an fire-ant hill. That's talent, especially when you consider the Home Depot surface.

On Fourth rounder Tally Hall

LALA: I could say that name all day. Tally Hall. Tally Hall. Tally Hall Tally Hall Tally Hall. You know what other name I could say all day? David Beckham. Beckham Beckham Beckham. Really, this kid is the coronet for the crown jewel of Major League Soccer. By that I mean he's essential to the support of the jewels, you hear what I am saying? And he's got an indie music band named after him. That's street cred. Like me. I'm from the streets. Work it, Dawg! We should totally hang and jam sometime. I'm writing a song now. It's called Hall the Ball for Beckham. It's awesome!

On Fourth Rounder Bobby Burling

LALA: It's just so amazing awesome. Like, if all the happiness in the world were condensed in a balloon, it would probably burst into tears of sheer ecstasy. I'm crying because it's so good. We're the galaxy. Just seeing our logo is like a million orgasms in a switch that you turn on and turn on again and-you-keep-turning-it-on -and-you-can't-stop-because-it's-so- damnamazinglyawesomewithbecksanddonovan. I see it now! I see it! Oh my god, it's full of stars! Yiyiyiyiyiyiiyiyiyiyiyiy....

Tape Ends.

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At 12 January, 2007 19:49, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dave? What are you doing Dave?

At 12 January, 2007 20:00, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yep. Lalas is an idiot. This captures the spirit and the thought process perfectly. It would be funny if it we not so accurate (and sad).

At 12 January, 2007 20:32, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love it.

At 12 January, 2007 22:06, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I owe you a drink sir.
(you can find me in Lot 8)

At 12 January, 2007 22:17, Blogger Brian said...

Those were some of the best Lalas quotes I have ever read. What a waste of flesh, that guy....

At 13 January, 2007 11:24, Anonymous Anonymous said...



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