27 October 2008

Do not despair; rather, find a hobby!

A comment from grunthos after the live blog is worth its own post. It is appropriate. It is funny. It may be of help to some of you who see a long winter of hard drinking to bridge the gap to next season.

Which soccer god did we offend?

Although I have to say, while we played well, I didn't feel like we were dominating Columbus. And after the Crew scored, you could see the weight of all those games played come crashing down on the team. The last 15 minutes we were tired, deflated, and didn't want it enough. Not that I can blame them.

I'm unclear as to what sacrifices I should offer this winter. Should I clip out anti-soccer rants from Kornheiser and Wilbon, shred them, and burn them with incense? Should I buy an authentic Bobby Boswell Dynamo jersey, and cheer them to another cup? Should I buy an authentic Zach Wells jersey, bury it (respectfully) at midnight in an unmarked grave, while chanting seven Hail Marys, seven Our Fathers, and every song on the Barra Brava playlist? Or perhaps I should buy a medical model of every injury sustained by a United player, grind them all into powder, and mix that into a concrete that I can then use to build a shrine to the spirit of El Diablo?

Help me, I'm confused. So confused...

All good suggestions. Does Jim Zorn know anything about soccer?


At 27 October, 2008 11:04, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hearing rumors that DCU might be after Curt Onalfo to coach the team next year. A great move if they can pull it off!

At 27 October, 2008 15:04, Anonymous Anonymous said...

As much as I love Olsen as a player, I think that he should seriously consider moving into a coaching position.

I would not be adverse to considering him as head coach next year. Other players have made the transition quickly (Nowak, Kries, Preki). Might be worth considering.

Regardless of level, I just want to see Olsen on the sideline next year. I just don't think that his ankles are ever going to be playable again. I would never be so happy to be wrong, however.

Gallardo must go!!! I would sell him to any SA team that offered a bag of balls. As long as we get rid of that contract.

Personally, I think that Emilio has run out his welcome as well. It seemed earlier that he had already gotten an offer from a Honduran team for next year. He has good potential for a rebound though, so he is worth the benefit of the doubt, as long as we put a good midfield together for next year.

Fortunately for me, I am a PSU and NY Giants fan, so my happiness is pretty safe for the next few months.

At 27 October, 2008 19:19, Anonymous Anonymous said...

. . . dammit.
What am I supposed to be excited about now? The election? Screw that. . .
I'll be interested to see what United does in the off-season, considering that every time I feel like they did try to fix problems, but never succeeded in winning consistently. When United did win consistently during the mid-season, it is unclear to me why. I thought at the time because everyone was healthy, but when everyone was healthy later they still lost.
You're right, I do need to find a hobby because one can really waste too much time trying to figure out what went wrong: Goalkeeping was problematic, the defense was cobbled together, the midfield never seemed to work well together (as an attached matter: Gallardo was a disappointment even when he wasn't injured), the attack was impotent much of the year and the coaching didn't inspire confidence.
We can do the same thing with the players individually: Fred had scoring problems; Tino was inconsistent; Namoff, who I would have thought safe, made a number of costly mistakes late in the season, McTavish had a number of problems that would come-and-go in the backfield at really bad times, Simms was sturdy, but ultimately pretty ineffective; Emilio. . . what the hell?; Burch was easily shutdown; Moreno was slow and rarely scored (and he was a striker).
I'm not going to go on, but I figure anyone that read that had players to add to the list. Hell, those were the players I'm most confident in, except I left out Martinez, whose primary problem seemed to be yellow card issues.
What gets fixed first? Who goes; who stays? Which defects can be worked around and which can't? Hell with this, I'm taking a break for a while: FIFA 09 it is then.

P.S. I don't mean to be too hard on the players, but it was a losing season and I feel like its fair and necessary to lay a critical eye.

At 27 October, 2008 22:47, Blogger Martin Shatzer said...

Funny you mentioned Zorn. I'm already seeing the signs of a Redskins/United analogy as the theme to the offseason.

I'm horny for Zorny.

At 29 October, 2008 02:41, Blogger TheBroWhisperer said...

i'd like to lend a handshake to jeremy. spot on.

i'd be willing to posit that in our club's history, no single man has fought, bled, wept and celebrated for our badge in the way of ben olsen. he is a dying breed of footballer even on this side of the ocean. to let a man like that take of the jersey would be tantamount to treason. i do have faith that benny could see a recovery and some time in the midfield, but regardless of those ankles, we need him in front of our bench.

At 31 October, 2008 19:37, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Problems,problems,problems. finding players, finding coaching staff, my question is how or who scouts our players?. For example we have a coach that had no experience before United as a head coach, sure he was under Nowak but look for instance at the Vancouver Whitecaps for example they have a head coach from Iceland Teitur Thordarson who spent time under Arsenal boss Wenger and former Liverpool boss Gerard Houllier, and offers a crisp possession base philosophy to his game style of play. This is without a doubt part of the problem for United. Why was a player like Gallardo brought in to run our midfield and no real outside midfielders were acquired?. Anyone who's seen Gallardo play, knows he is a passer of the ball, he finds those making the run at the defence not him making the run at the defence like Gomez did. When Gomez ran at the defence he created opportunities for the rest of the attacking players by drawing the defenders to him and then making the final pass. Our staff, from Tommy to K.P. should have known this. Instead, they bring in players past their prime and those that have reached their top potentiall allready and are mediocre or solid by MLS standard. Peralta though big and stout and good ball skills is not a guy you want to have holding your back line. What was United's problem with defence last year?, speed, does Peralta and/or Martinez solve that problem?, no, so you brought two S.I.'s that didn't solve your problem of speed. Another sign is if this guy at 28 is still playing in Argentina's second division is a tell tell sign he doesn't have what it takes to be a star defender in the league. Niel as a center forward playing with his back to goal, enough said, the few times i saw him play while in Argentinos he played out wide on the right crossing the ball or linking in with the attackers. at the end of the day, those who dismantled and put this team toguhether are the ones to blame.

At 29 January, 2009 11:44, Anonymous Anonymous said...

A good way to get through the offseason could be to play Table Soccer or Subbuteo! Check out www.tablesoccerusa.com or www.americansubbuteo.com for more info!


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