08 August 2005

From the diary of Jair Marrufo

August 6, 2005

Dear Diary:
Well, another game successfully reffed by yours truly. It was in Chicago, and the ribs are great here! It was a bit crazy though. Only about 10 minutes into the match and Freddy Adu goes down with a knee injury. What a way to start! Needless to say, my first thought was to locate Dema Kovalenko on the field, but it seems he had nothing to do with it. I was going to caution him anyways, but I remembered that they play for the same team. It could have been a bit awkward to explan that.

Only a few minutes later Josh Gros comitted a foul. He's so young, and he looked like he was about to cry, so I wanted to console him. I remember that I had a pack of Twizzlers in my pocket, so I went to grab them to give him one, but mistakenly grabbed a yellow card. Well, I always learned you can't back down from a call once made, so I had no choice but to give it to him. Dema came over and muttered something to me. I couldn't make out whatever foreign talk that was, but I think it was something about my family and a pit of hungry boars. I would not be honest with you diary if I did not say he frightened me a bit.

After only a few minutes, Dema broke a perfectly legitimate choke hold with a blow using a closed fist. I could see that Dema was going for his finishing manuver, the Dema Domination Drop from the top of the turnbuckle, so I had to intervene with a caution. Dema said something about my knees, while insisting that the chokehold was illegal. I don't know exactly what he meant, so I'm happy he was able to get a goal later to calm him down. Still, I kept expecting him to try to take my legs out (I'm still pretty sure he had something to do with Adu going down... to do with Adu... to do... Adu... That's pretty funny!)

Anyways, the game was 2-0, when Dema astrally projected into Thiago's body, took over his soul, and tackled Gomez from behind. Unfortunately, none of the assistants saw the same astral projection I did, so I had to award a PK to the United. Still, I didn't issue a card because I know that Thiago was under the influence of Dema's evil sorcery.

Well, game is over now. I spoke with Dema after the match, and he seemed willing to let things be. I am thankful, since I did not want Dema to astrally project into my body. Now I am home, and all is well, except my dog keeps giving me a funny look and staring at my ankles.