12 September 2006

Play it Cool.

A Study in Localized Insanity

Dave walks over to me. "You know who that is, right?"

"Who? That guy?"

"Yeah, that's Bobby Boswell."

I stifle the urge to reenact a Jack Benny spit-take. "No shit, hey, you're right." It's a slightly awkward feeling, since a few minutes before I told Joanna of my plans to pick up a Boswell replica jersey when we head into RFK. Very close to the kind of fanboy behavior that invites William Shatner to ask about whether or not I am currently in posession of, as they say, a life. No, the important thing now is to just be cool about the entire thing. I turn to my drinking buddy who hasn't overheard the conversation with Dave. "Hey, it's Boswell over there." He picks up on the studied non-chalance, barely raising his eyebrows in response.

"Is it? Cool." There's a pause as we are earnestly aware of how forced the casual tone of conversation has become. "You know, I woke up with Heather Mitts in bed this morning..." Complete deadpan. A nice escalation of the mood.

"You too?" I offer.

"Who hasn't?" adds Dave, safely out of earshot of his girlfriend.

Still, now I've been challenged. It's important to establish alpha-male ultimate coolness at this point. "So, um... Jesus Christ came over this morning. Wanted to borrow a cup of sugar. I told him this was the last time..."

Yes, despite being older, and probably outearning an MLS star, even now we can all become so lame...


At 12 September, 2006 13:25, Blogger Michael Briggs said...

Unless the Washington Post is lying, Boswell makes, this year: $29,400.

At 12 September, 2006 14:38, Blogger Kali said...

Don't worry, D -- Bobby still outearns me in that case.

At 13 September, 2006 04:53, Anonymous Matt said...

Cool experience D....funny...I never thought about the money thing, but I guess most of us do earn more money!!

At 13 September, 2006 10:56, Anonymous SEKim said...

Dude, I'm so sorry, I should have introduced you all to Bobby. He was trying to ask me out on a date (seriously, the group date a bunch of us ladies won with him last fall). Anywho we were discussing that.

If you come to the SE party (please RSVP!!) I can introduce you to him or whomever you want.


At 13 September, 2006 11:48, Anonymous Joanna said...

How do you win a group date with Bobby Boswell? Just wondering!

At 13 September, 2006 11:51, Anonymous SE Podcast said...

For the record, I did not walk up to you. I was already talking to you when Boz came over to us to talk to Kim.

And Kim, I asked D if he wanted an introduction, but declined. I knew you were too busy being distracted by Boz's Baby Blues.

At 13 September, 2006 12:11, Blogger D said...

SEKIM: Yeah, I know. Dave did offer, and I was too freaked out since my big thing was having scraped enough cash to go purchase the replica jersey, it just felt strange.

Dave: You are correct. I plead Stephen Glass "Narrative necessity" in defense.

At 13 September, 2006 13:12, Anonymous SEKim said...

Oh the Boz date....

Catch me at the next tailgate and I can give you the sordid details how that came about (actually it's really quite silly). For a variety of reasons (but none that have to to with Boz, he couldn't be sweeter or the other chicas on the date) I've given up my spot but Boz was trying to get me to go anyway (Dave was like, "take her!") so we'll see.


At 13 September, 2006 14:26, Anonymous Joanna said...

I don't actually make as much money as Bobby, so I'm justified. Right?

I'll be sure to get all the details from you, Kim. :-)

At 14 September, 2006 11:53, Anonymous Joe said...

I have a rule that I haven't yet had a chance to follow. Whenever I encounter an MLS player who earns less than me, I buy him a beer.

The odds of me remembering this rule when the time comes, however, are not very good.

At 15 September, 2006 07:58, Blogger Jan said...

Plus, Joe, Novak would get really mad at Boz if he were drinking at the tailgate! (And Piotr might even get mad at you *shudders at the thought of Piotr's wrath). So, really, by not buying him a beer, you were doing something much nicer. :-)


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