28 February 2007

Inch by Inch

Given that the Washington Post has issued length guidelines for their stories, it seems appropriate that we do the same. Effective immediately, the following rules are implemented at the DCenters for Story Length.

  • MLS Regular Season Game Recap? 3-4 inches.
  • MLS Playoff Game Recap? 4-5 inches.
  • MLS Regular Season Game featuring DC United win? 9-10 inches.
  • USMNT International Match? 4-5 inches
  • ...Featuring Gros, Carroll, Olsen, Boswell, or Perkins? 9-10 inches.
  • Story on Alexi Lalas making overly large, grandiose, sweeping claims to his own or LA's Greatness? 3 inches, but he'll tell everyone it was about 10 inches, more than any other sports story in the history of paper and people writing things on it.
  • Story about Zach Thorton, Clint Mathis or Tony Meola eating too many baked goods? 3.1415926535... inches.
  • Visual aid to story about Zach Thorton, Clint Mathis or Tony Meola eating too many baked goods? Pie chart.
  • Long poems dedicated to Gomez, Moreno, or Etcheverry? 99 inches using iambic pentameter.
  • The problem of Euro-snobbery in the US Soccer Scene? 25.4cm to 30.48cm
  • History of the New York Red Bulls? Three squares, double-ply.
  • Alecko Eskandarian's ability to help Toronto? 1 ft. -- but only the left one.
  • The future of Bob Bradley? 4 inches (note: first in a series of [FILL IN NUMBER - SG] articles)
  • Story on DC fans conceding reputation as best in U.S. Soccer? We don't give an inch to anyone.



At 28 February, 2007 17:55, Anonymous Joanna said...

Oooo! Oooo! I wrote a poem about Christian Gomez. If I make it longer, will you publish it in your blog?

At 07 March, 2007 22:33, Blogger Dan said...

Roflmao lol

RBNY, 3 squares, two-ply

^^^classic, rofl


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