Silent

Normally when I go silent, it means I'm on travel, but this week I went silent because, well... Writer's block, to be frank. I mean, do I want to talk about the signing of Francis Doe? I could, but if he gets more minutes this year than Guy Roland-Kpene got last year, I will be surprised. I could take aim at the John Feinstein piece in the post, with a noble sentiment ("give a nod to the past, and the ol' NASL") which is utterly undercut when its writer announces that he doesn't watch contemporary soccer. I mean, he writes "I really want to like soccer again." No one's stopping you man. It kinda reminds me of that Rod McKuen poem that opens with "I try to be a good beatnik, but it's hard..." History has made its judgment on Rod's posturing.

But really, there's nothing to really get me going. United has me in a waiting pattern, wondering if this team actually is going to show up and play 90 minutes of good soccer on Saturday. And even then, even then, what will it mean? Yeah.

Freezer later today, and I think Kinney may be handling the First Impressions/Debriefing duties over the weekend. SUBMIT YOUR OPINIONS TO THE FREEZER IN THIS COMMENT THREAD! Yes, DC is going down a bit farther.

Quick Admin Note

Freezer will be out before I go to bed tonight. Also, I'm redoing many of our links, so please welcome some new additions (Goal Scoring Robot for one), and a quick note of overdue thanks to Ben Olsen's Beard, ThroughBall and Marking the Referee, fine blogs that are now passing into the good night. The best thing for a blog isn't necessarily the best analysis, or hottest rumors, but to have a clear and enjoyable voice, and these blogs had that, which makes me sad to see them go.

That being said, there's now a ton of new blogs I need to link to, so I'll be getting to that. And, of course, there is DuNord and SoccerBlogs (hosted by proud papa Oscar), which almost between the two of them manage everything you need to know. Additionally, I need to redo the Washington Nationals Links, but a special salute to Blogger of Month Mr. Needham of the always indispensable Capitol Punishment.

DCenters +3

Um... Wow. We're three years old. In blog years, that's like 21. Which is to say, an excuse to drink. Amazing.

To my co-writers Kinney, Oscar, and Bob, thanks. To our readers, I say "more thanks." To the team we have pledged our lives, our fortune, and our sacred honor, I say "You better beat Columbus. Really."

Three years of doing this... Wow.

The Karma Bank is not FDIC Insured

After reading through your comments, I've come to the conclusion that the Karma Bank should close. Depositors will receive two bags of oyster crackers instead of their original deposits. However, for those of you that thought it was interesting, but flawed, I think you're right. So instead, we're going to try and figure out a way of more quantifiably tracking the fortune and misfortune of a season. My thought now is that we provide an adjusted final score, in which we deduct goals that should not have been allowed from both sides, and add on goals that should have been awarded (or likely awarded) to both sides. Yes, it's still subjective, but I think that's the route we'll take. So, every time United earns the benefit of the doubt on an off-side call they didn't earn, and the ball subsequently goes in the net, we'll adjust the score for United down one. Every time United earns a penalty that isn't called, we'll add a goal (yes, not all penalties are converted, but hey.) For the Kansas City Game, the final score was 2-1. Adjusting that score would be 1 goal for United on the Mediate Penalty, and 1 goal for Kansas City on the poor off-side call, leading to an adjusted score of KC 3 : 1 DC. How does that sound? Right now, this is just a proposal, and I am more than willing to tinker and adjust. Also, comments in the First Impressions posts will be stolen referenced to help fill out the debriefs, so feel free to offer your own analysis and comment on the action.

For the People, Of the People

Commenter BigKris, a commenter I respect, wrote this in the KC Debrief: "D, the 'Karma Bank' nonsense has got to go."

I can understand his feelings. It's one of the fluffier sections of the debrief, and really something I do more for my own amusement than any real analysis. So I open the question: Does anyone really want the karma bank to stay, or would you be happy if it drifted off into the dark night? Really, I'm not wed to any outcomes here.

Now... The Freezer, we need to get that up and running again...

Voices Carry...

...see, because I waited 'til Tuesday for this post responding to reader comments. I know! You were expecting some cheesy Super Tuesday joke, not an Aimee Mann 1980s anti domestic violence sub reference. I shall leave the Super Tuesday type posts to those more fit to make them.

I like to highlight disagreements with me, or at least perceived disagreements with me, in this post, simply because I enjoy the lack of group-think. That's what this site is somewhat dedicated to. We do our analysis, we make up our minds. If you look at things and reach a different conclusion, well, that's just as good in my book. So, regarding the "Latin Flair" (a loaded term in and of itself) and what it means for United and MLS, let's address some of the comments from Friday's post.

First, to everyone who wrote in either agreeing, or at least saying how they enjoyed the analysis, thank you. I value those comments, especially when, as on Friday, I was a bit unsure of my territory. Sometimes it just helps to hear that I'm not utterly over-reading, or insane. Really, I get insecure. You may have noticed.

Now, to the critiques. JCM, of the most reputable Poplar Point Perspective, noted one concern: "...it bothers me that United's top draft pick went to France because he would max out at a $30,000 contract. If United was a bit better with the home grown talent, they wouldn't need to look quite as far for the $100-300K players." This is a valid point, and the fact is that the Salary Cap constricts how we pay players, especially draft picks. Now, when the players' Collective Bargaining Agreement comes up for renegotiation, we should watch closely. If MLS suits take a hard line in keeping minimum salaries low, and stringent caps in place, then MLS may well be shooting itself in the foot when it comes to retaining domestic talent. The departures of Needham and Jacobson represent a trend which is good on two fronts - it allows these players a chance to get more for their services than they would in MLS, and fires a nice warning shot across the bow. For years the Collective Bargaining Agreement was simply about cost-containment for MLS, and minimizing the losses. Now with the movement towards more profitable franchises, these austerity measures begin to look extreme. If there is new wealth coming into the league, some of it must be shared with players other than the Designated Player signings. Watch the CBA negotiations in a year or so.

Tarheel Tom takes issue with my tone: "Throwing out the accusations of racism was a bit hasty don't you think?" Tucksider echoes this in one of his comments, "one of the few things i often disagree with in your writing is what seems like a tendency to assume the basest motives in other writers." This is fair, and it stems from an odd situation. Let me take this opportunity before someone big sees this and gets angry to clarify -- I do not want to accuse Ridge Mahoney or Slow Francis of being racist. Mr. Mahoney is an excellent analyst, and Mr. SF is an excellent court jester. They do their jobs well. However, both I felt were loading the language in unfortunate ways. Mr. SF did it because sometimes to bring the funny, you need to bring the discomfort (which I'm fine with.) Mr. Mahoney was a bit more problematic, because I felt he didn't need to charge his writing quite in that way except to create a feeling of fear and foreboding that his analysis did not require. I disagree with his point, but his point was fine. The language was unnecessary, and while not hurtful, was drifting that way. The even more racist comments that are out there I think can be found through some easy google searches. I do not wish to link to them, so instead I went with the cases that were not nearly as offensive. That was a disservice to both SF and Mr. Mahoney, and I apologize.

Now, on the more substantive post, Tarheel Tom concludes his point with this:

Almost our entire audience are US citizens. They follow and DC not only because of the team but because it is the premier american club in existence. The defining term being american, if it is simply a team of brazilians and argentines then it might as well be independiente or Corinthians.

Now, this is a matter of perpective, and I think I disagree. While the majority of our audience is US Citizens, we do not bond to this team because of its American component. Emilio, Gomez, Etcheverry, Moreno, Raul Diaz Arce were loved by our US Fanbase on aggregate just as much, if not more, than Olsen, Pope, Harkes, Lassiter, or Boswell. Perhaps the hook for DC fans back in the day was the return of Harkes, but the bond that exists now is beyond that. I care about goals, tackles, and silverware, and do not care for nationality. I root for Ben Olsen not because he his an American, but because he provides the right attitude on the field and plays his heart out. When Ben Olsen made the US National team for Germany, I was happy for him and because I do root for the USA, but I was also happy the day Bolivia came to its senses and finally recalled Moreno to their squad.

Now, on to the issue of "building the National team." Kelly quite correctly notes that:

When MLS was getting off the ground, one of its stated objectives was, indeed, to develop "American" players. Given its dearth of youth programs, its worse than miserly salary cap and an utter disregard of international schedules, developing the "American" player yet remains one of the league's aims.

I concede all of these points, but I feel they are irrelevant. The goal for each team is winning, and however MLS tries to create incentives for developing US players, the only goal for my team is winning games however they can. Now, you can argue, as Kelly and Mr. Mahoney both do, that MLS needs to do a better job with those incentives. Still, at no point should we ever mistake that the league's goals and the team's goals are, or even should be, the same. To goal of the team is to win the league, and its strategies for working in that direction should never be confused with the league's priorities. The league doesn't like dynasties that upset parity. I kind of like them, provided it is my team that's the dynasty. Teams love to be a dynasty. Just ask those crazy kids in Houston.

And that's the thing. When D.C. United was just doing its own thing, most commenters are correct that no one objected. The concern now is that D.C. has become the model, and now the objections are coming. That somehow it is unfair.

Now, the most fundamental point that I need to make is this. We are conditioned to view the influx of foreign players and the development of American players as a zero sum game. Certainly the salary cap and low developmental salaries bolster that view. So let me agree with everyone who says we must raise the cap and pay a (for lack of a better term) living wage to all of our players. I agree with all of you. We are now beyond the time when economic reality made it impossible for MLS to be expected to take care of the new developing players. And I agree with Kelly that sitting on the bench in Europe may be just as beneficial to a player's skills as sitting on a bench in Columbus (which is to say, not at all). But even the players have figured this out, looking to go places where they will get time on the field. Perkins is not the third string at West Ham, he is the starter in the European North. Adu is getting substitute time with Benfica, not rotting in Madrid's reserves. Needham wanted to start and earn more money in Puerto Rico. They have made smart choices all (the Michael Bradley example is also relevant, although he was playing pretty damn well in New York before Mo got rid of him). Even Benny Feilhaber realizes that benched for Derby sucks, and was willing to go to Israel.

Finally, one more point. I have carefully not said that I am sure that United's signings, or any team's South American signings, will bring success in 2008 or upcoming seasons. I don't know. I think I've been clear on that. If United is barking up the wrong tree, they will lose. I will say that looking at United's history shows that they have gotten good returns on South American talent, and to that extent I can understand the desire to double-down on that continent. But if they were wrong, and if another team shows that developing American talent is more effective in MLS, then United will lose for a few seasons... and then they will adjust. I am not saying that players are better simply because they are from South America, I am saying that United is better at identifying the right, affordable talent in South America than they are in the United States. We, to perhaps exaggerate a bit, suck at identifying talent in the United States that we can keep and use. And perhaps that will bite us. As I have said, this season may be more about the choices of the front office than the players on the pitch.

Concession

"The people have spoken. The soccer people, anyway." - Steve Goff

"The people have spoken, the bastards." - Dick Tuck

Steve Goff has claimed victory in the Best US Soccer Blog sweepstakes, and while I have not heard anything official, I doubt I will just as I had no idea we were even nominated. If, at some point, I see vote totals, I will try and let you know how we did. If we must lose out, then losing at least to a blog from our city should cushion the blow. You know, at least it wasn't Ives. To those of you that cast a few votes our way, my thanks. Let me say this - We are not finished here. As part of our continuing mission to offer you the best opinion, rush-to-judgement, and biased analysis, we shall continue. Goff may make the soccer web interesting, but we want to make it fun. Congratulation to Mr. Goff, whose reporting is truly excellent and makes writing about D.C. United and MLS easier in many, many ways. We hope to take you down next year if we get a chance. See, because it's a derby now.

There is Only One Acceptable Outcome: Vote DCenters

The DCenters has been nominated for Best US Soccer Blog over at USSoccer.Com's "Best of 2007" site. Now, I confess that upon looking at the other blogs nominated, I admit that I was impressed merely to be in their company. Du Nord, is there, with Ives, the Goffather, Spangler, Josh, the official Women's and Men's National Team Blog, and the perpetually giving gift of Ray Hudson's worldview at Hudsonia. That's some seriously talented group, and for a time I was "happy just to be nominated." So in celebration a few beverages were consumed, and I slipped into a green-tinged sleep with the taste of liquorice on my mouth.

Suddenly, half aware that I was still in my apartment, I saw Ryan Nelsen standing over me. "Happy to be nominated?" He gave a short laugh that ended in a sneer. "That means you are content to lose. Have we taught you nothing?"

I was taken aback, simply because I thought Nelsen was overseas. "If we were in a competition with Arsenal, ManU, Barca, Madrid, and Celtic, would you be happy we were just playing there?" Nelsen's features warped into those of Tom Soehn. "No, you wouldn't. You, and I, would expect us to go out and win. And if C. Rinaldo flopped to the ground, you'd want Ben to put the boot in and earn the caution." Again, the features of my visitor melted and warped while my legs were held in a strange paralysis, and Ben Olsen now accosted me. "Yeah, you're writing with three other great guys. You have to trust your teammates, and work hard, that's what this league is about." Once more the visitor's features rippled, and Herman Edwards spoke into his headset. "I'm not exactly sure why I'm here, but then again I don't seem to know what I'm doing most days. But still -- I have to ask the question: 'Why do we play?' You should know the answer." Then there was a loud cacophony of noise, as if every tormented keeper who had ever seen a ball move in a way that would make a physicist cry and erase the memory in their T-81 was suddenly stretched on the rack. A bright light filled the air, and an intense heat washed over me. As my eyes adjusted, there, before me, was Marco Etcheverry. He chose not to speak to me in English, but somehow I still understood him. "Do you accept a place among the ranks, or do you wish to lead with honor? These are the lessons. You fight, you spit, you claw, you grab, you push, you run, you scream, you kick, and you do it with style. That is what matters. Do not shame us."

I awoke with a start, and knew that through whatever divine or diabolic provenance had brought me these visions, they were true. It is not enough just to be nominated, I want to win this thing. Yes, the other blogs have great writers -- talented writers. They may have better connections, better access, more reliable news, better site designs, or what have you, but they do not have the indomitable spirit of this blog. And if they are good blogs, as they all are, that just makes the prize more worth winning.

And so I now ask you, readers, to support us. Not merely that, I ask you to go forth and bring us more votes. For this is no longer about voting for this blog. No, I ask for your vote because of what it represents.

The mythology of American Soccer Fandom, indeed, of US Soccer itself, is that of the gritty amateur triumphing against the seasoned experts. It is the story of fans gathering at odd hours to watch games in dark locales, of passion raging white hot against a world that was indifferent at best, and condescending at worst. It is the story of fans who have yelled, cried, celebrated, drank, smoked... and built what we had through our own collaborative efforts. If this blog is anything, it is the same story as yours, as we have nothing but what we ourselves have made. The internet is made for half-baked, incoherent, and pretentious screeds from semi-anonymous individuals. Let us not turn it over to the media machines, but instead let us reward ourselves, the fans. And if you vote for us, in addition to rewarding the many examples of fine writing on this site, then you also vote for yourself.

I also challenge Mr. Ives, or Mr. Goff, or any other writer of a nominated blog to publicly debate me and mine on why their blog should be preferred as the best US Soccer Blog. Will you meet us, or must we proclaim your cowardice?

Ladies and gentlemen, this blog may not win, but if we do not win it will not be for lack of trying. Short of repurposing this site as an RSL blog to take advantage of the various RSL vote-bots our there, we will defend our right to be known as the best US Soccer Blog of 2007. Our pride does not let us shrink from a challenge. Our passion gives us the courage to take on these long odds. And the tradition of the team we dedicated ourselves to demands no less effort from us then we have demanded, and received, from them. No, if we lose it will not match the feeling of loss I felt after Chicago, and a victory would not equal the joy I felt in 2004, but there is silverware to be had. And we shall need you, dear readers. Not just for your vote, but for your support in finding others to vote for us. The major media blogs run hundreds deep, but we believe in that rare power that comes from the madness of crowds. Ladies and Gentlemen, I ask you and those you can reach with your voice: Vote for the DCenters.

Thursday Coffee Pours Some Sugar On You

A SPECIAL THANK YOU: I read each and every comment we get at this site. I may not always respond, simply because I'm really more interested in what you have to say than what I have to say (I've usually already said what I had to). Still, I want to say thanks to each and every comment we've had recently. Your thoughts on what it feels like to fall from the Copa Sudamericana, the excuses we might use, and the debate on the USWNT, have been conducted with intelligence and decorum not usually associated with TEH INTERNETS. You may disagree with me, or with each other, but you're pretty good about keeping things civil. My thanks. And for those of you that took issue with me saying "United bunkered" -- you're probably right. It was more of an emotional sense I had of the tactics then a reflection of the field. You are correct: United didn't bunker by choice, they bunkered because they couldn't pass the ball through the middle third.

POPLAR POINT AND POWER: Four, count 'em, four Poplar Point related articles in the Post. First, Marc Fisher notes Marion Barry's support of the plan, and if anything is slightly bemused. Second, Marc Fisher notes that some soccer team is still at RFK. And, for the life of him, he can't understand some of the venom he sees. Now, we can't be accused of any such thing, as we have consistently preached co-existance with our red and white RFKin. I like baseball. No, I think Fisher confuses attacks against him with attacks against other sports. Marc writes " I don't think it is disrespectful of United or its fans to note that RFK has not worked out as a venue." No Marc, and in fact, we agree with you. We want a different venue. In case you're wondering, it's comments like this one that are disrespectful of United and its fans: "...a soccer stadium is used far less frequently than a baseball stadium and draws much smaller crowds, so it might make more sense for it to be further away from the center." Used less frequently? Sure. Much smaller crowds? You're having a laugh. We draw crowds that are comparable to, if not exceeding Nats crowds, most nights. I could even defend you if you had said "smaller on aggregate" or "slight smaller on average" or something like that, but you had to go for the trivial and insulting column. That's why we're annoyed with you.

PRAISES FOR V-MAC: However, read these two articles. One is on a separate development that Mr. MacFarlane is developing, and the optimism that comes with it. The second article, despite a somewhat disappointing lede, turns into a glowing article on Victor himself. Key graf:

...MacFarlane has set himself apart from his rivals because he has built winning projects in challenging urban areas that others never thought to enter. As one of the few African Americans to control such a large amount of institutional capital, MacFarlane made his reputation and fortune by helping to revitalize poor, long-neglected black neighborhoods.

Surely this kind of track record is exactly what is needed for Poplar Point and the Anacostia neighborhood. This is a man who has results, who has done it. Is the District willing to sacrifice success in this project simply because they might want $20-$30M in additional development on a bid? Is it worth that kind of risk? I ask you, Mayor Fenty.

MARCO GETS A ROCKET, YEAH, FOR HIS OPPONENT (BUT IT'S NOT ROY LASSITER): I'm not sure what this means at all. Other than he'll play ball after ball, but they'll all look the same. And DeRoux spends some quality time on PG. Oh, and congrats to Looocheee, who gets Player of the Month and takes it from Troy Perkins.

Benny & Clyde

Vous avez lu l'histoire du diable?
Comment il joué, comment il a gagné?
Ca vous a plus hein vous en démandez encore
et bien, ecoutez l'histoire... de Benny et Clyde.

Alors voila Clyde et le milieu vétéran:
Il a une barbe et son surnom c'est Olsen.
a eux deux ils forment le gang unie
leurs noms Clyde, Christian, Fred et Benny.

Benny & Clyde.
Benny & Clyde.

Chaque fois qu'un taureau est battu
ou une chèvre ou un magicien est dupée
Pour les commentateurs, ce ne fait pas un mystère.
C'est signé Clyde Simms et Benny Olsen

Benny & Clyde
Benny & Clyde

(okay, this may now be my record for lowest percentage joke ever.)

The DCenters brings North Arlington All-Star in for Trial

We know, the "At A Glance" section was not getting updated regularly. And we despaired of actually getting around to it. Fortunately, Bob, who spent some time with the North Arlington All Stars, has agreed to come on board and help get it sorted out. In addition to that, he'll be posting along the same schedule as the rest of us (i.e. whenever we damn well feel like it) and hopefully will join as a full-fledged writer in a few weeks. So please welcome Bob to the scene.

Admin Note

Everyone on our team is pretty busy at the moment, so the debrief may be delayed. However, the comments I'm seeing last night are rather good reading, so check 'em out.

Quick note

I'm working on the Freezer with Kinny and Oscar. I'm still upset about Saturday. I would like see Domenic Mediate back. I'm a sap. Interesting comments the past few days, but I can't imagine I can just post something and say "Open Thread". Seems like a cop-out to me. Sure, others can do that, but it just doesn't sit right with me. I feel like I should say something. Hmmmm.. how about this? I think he's wrong, but it's a decent argument. I disagree with the idea that Boz has taken the edge off his game. I do agree that consistency is a problem. It's not that he coasts every game, or even a majority of them. But there were a few games, back in the start of the season, and most recently against Salt Lake where it seemed that way. But I thought he had very good games against Houston, New York (yes, even with the card) and New England. It's a consistency thing, something that I would have expected more of a problem in the first two seasons than now, but that's how I see it.

Misc. Appropriations

I'm working on the Freezer right now, but a few things of note.

COACH:

First, yes, we read the Mike Wise article on Tom Soehn. It's interesting, and pleasant, but I'm not sure how important it is in the long run. Wise had pretty much declared himself in the "Anybody but Nowak" camp midway through 2006. Still, a nice read.

COUNTRY: Let me throw a theory out there that I bounced off Kinney last Saturday. Under Bob Bradley, the United States seems more creative but less organized than under Bruce Arena. True? False? It was an idle thought, and one that I think can go either way, but I thought I would throw it out there.

OTHER COUNTRY: Oscar's apparently too modest to mention this himself, but it looks like he's writing a Bolivian Futbol blog in addition to his duties here. Of course, it helps if you speak the language. Hello Llama!

Goff to The DCenters: You Guys Are So Ineffective...

Did you ever watch one of those cheesy made-for-TV comedies (think Family Ties Vacation), where one of the main characters bends over to pick up a briefcase, and a thrown knife embeds itself just above their head while he's stooped over? Then the character walks on, oblivious to the intrigue he's just been involved in? I kind of feel like that now...

Steve Goff gets all the credit in the world for helping but Bryan Namoff's name on the all-star ballot. Yet there's a telling exchange in the comments. One of you kind readers wrote the following:

Wow, all that self-applied back-slapping warms the heart...except that D over at the DCenters (the original United blog) noticed this situation YESTERDAY and quickly urged Namoff fans to take action. But hey, if you feel the need to take credit that badly...

Posted by: What about D? | May 17, 2007 02:23 PM

To whomever you are, thanks for sticking up for us. Not that it mattered to Goff, who casually dismissed us:

And how did that fan initiative on the other site work out for ya? results, baby, it's all about results. ;-)

Posted by: Goff | May 17, 2007 02:33 PM

Insider commenter MattM followed up:

...it's been left behind. You get real news here, and pretty much only opinion there. I've stopped reading it.

True enough. We do opinion first and foremost. Quite simply, we have jobs, and this is our hobby. We don't have Kevin Payne on our buddy list, access to a ton of insiders, and the freedom to go down and cover practices. So we try to do analysis and opinion to the best of our ability. Occasionally we like to bring you the odd interview with someone who probably isn't showing up in the papers, and even more rarely we break news (as we did with the sale of DC United), but opinion and analysis and general fun is what I like to think we do best. I like to think it is fun, and informative, and occasionally educational.

Steve Goff is one of the best beat writers in soccer, and the Soccer Insider is an excellent and informative site. I don't pretend for a moment that we can do what he does. As many of you know, I don't buy into the entire "New Media-Old Media" line of thinking. False dichotomy.

But I also think we provide something special to everyone. It may not be for you, and that's okay. No hard feelings, we're not everyone's cup of tea. Do I know why Goff feels the needs to casually backhand us? Nope. No idea. We're not Goff, but we love what he does (and, by-the-way, to eliminate confusion I've decided that I'll post over there as "This is D" so you don't confuse me with the guy who posts there as "d, dc") and appreciate it. But as for results, I would say this: I think we entertain. I think we educate. I think we amuse. I think we inform. I think we provoke thought and discussion. I think we're willing to look at things in a way no one else does, and share those thoughts with you. Those are results I'm proud of, and while it saddens me that others may not appreciate it, I'm thankful for each and every one of you that does. Thanks to all of you, and again to whomever it was that chirped up over at Soccer Insider.

Debrief? De-layed

Sorry, swamped at the moment. Will have a debrief up today at some point, just not sure when yet. As most of you figured out, Namoff was the Man of the Match, so rest easy on that concern.

Man, stupid well-paying job interfering with my blogging needs...

Start it up again

Whew, we got game previews to write, and expert to interview, and news to catch up on. All because United has a match in the Great North tomorrow. To be frank, I'm a bit nervous. A loss would pretty much stop any momentum United had heading into the break, and this is a team that needs confidence right now. But we'll get into all of that later...

THE MOST IMPORTANT INTERVIEW IN DC UNITED HISTORY... is probably not at Ben Olsen's Beard right now, but if you want to read me prattling on in response to some questions that the BOB was kind enough not to yawn in the middle of, please go read it. The Beard is a good guy.

UNINTENTIONAL HUMOR UPDATE: "The wily Scot isn’t accepting mediocrity from his club’s expansion team status: He’s thinking about the playoffs." Um, mediocrity and playoff aren't exactly mutually exclusive.

HOSTILE WORK ENVIRONMENT: Charles Boehm on DC preparing for the Wall of Sound in Toronto, and a visit with Alecko:

United's center back says he and the voluble Eskandarian still "talk trash about each other, because that's just how we are," trading long-distance gibes via texts, e-mails and their respective blogs.

Nice.

READ UP: New blogs added to the blogroll, including several Toronto FC blogs and the JDJ blogs.

Breather

There's a lot more I want to write about, but I am inexplicable exhausted for some reason. Maybe sunburn. Or whatever. I want to talk again (yes, I know, again) about Marc Fisher and Poplar Point, and maybe some other stuff. But man, do I need a nap. My apologies. Also, a mildly interesting landmark is coming up for us, so we'll touch on that.

And, in case you were curious, yes, there are several Smiths' songs on my iPod, less so with solo Morrissey. If you can't mock your favorites (and don't get me started on post A Trick of the Tail Genesis, or on the genius that is Mark E. Smith...) In the meantime, I think I'll listen to Shakespeare's Sister again.

The All Shakespeare Starting XI

Before we get back into the wallowing paranoia that the season's start has given us ahead of Thursday's game against New England, I thought I would try and have a little fun. It is "A Year of Shakespeare" in DC, and in an attempt to do my part for the cultural significance of our fair city, I give you the All Shakespeare Starting XI, plus bench. To my knowledge (and quick Google searches) this most worthy effort has not yet been undertaken, so I may need some help. I'm not sure the roster is quite right, so your recommendations of how to fine-tune this goal-scoring machine are most welcome before their season starts against Jonson Athletic and Marlowe Wanderers.

STARTING XI
GK Brutus (Julius Caesar) – Your keeper should be cool, unflappable, like Brutus, who won't take a night off even if his wife kills herself by swallowing fire.

RB Marina (Pericles, Prince of Tyre) – If she guards the right flank as well as she guarded her chastity, attackers will find the box difficult to penetrate.

CB Henry V (Henry IV, Henry V) – After some shaky moments during Henry IV when his passion for the game was questioned, this young prospect demonstrates strong abilities to organize a back line and is great in International competition. Just elected captain.

CB Titus Andronicus -- The great defender of Rome is stout on the pitch, but can occasionally make odd choices in his distribution. Makes up for it with great service (both on the pitch and at the dinner table).

LB Goneril (King Lear) -- Confident in handling the part of the land allocated for her, Goneril may get caught ball-watching occasionally and never seems grateful for the role she gets on the pitch.

RM Falstaff (Henry IV, The Merry Wives of Windsor) – Aging star popular with the fans (think 2002 Marco Etcheverry), pops up unexpectedly in odd places and seems to defy time. Was supposed to be in the starting line-up for Henry V, but was stripped of captaincy and lead role by Hal, and may be on the way out as nights out with George Best catch up with him.

CDM Shylock (The Merchant of Venice) – Opposing attackers find it difficult to charge through midfield when this Demo Kovalenko-esque midfielder takes his pound of flesh.

CAM Iago (Othello) – What should your #10 be? Crafty, and they don't get much craftier than Iago, whose use of misdirection and playing others through is unparalleled. Sure, he's still upset that he was passed over for Othello for the Italian team, but professionals can get beyond that, right?

LM Duke Vincentio (Measure for Measure) – Excellent two-way player, both in dictating the attack and in performing the down and dirty work of tracking back and defending.

CF Macbeth – He can strike and finish, but plays withdrawn constantly checking back for the ball and looking for players ghosting out on runs. Occasionally overconfident, when he scores it's a dagger to the opposition.

ST Othello – Charges headlong on whatever Iago sends him to chase, occasionally acts too quickly for his own good, but that's what you want in a striker.

Manager: King Lear -- Replaced Polonius earlier this season. Emphasized simple play and tactics – "Divide we our formation in three!" May lose his cool towards the end of the season or in bad weather. If season does not end well, may be replaced by Propsero who supposedly retired, but is said to be itching to get back in the game.

Former Manager: Polonius (Hamlet) – Like Ray Hudson, he was quick to the quip in the locker room until the front office realized they had no idea what he was going on about.

BENCH

GK Cordelia (King Lear) – Biding her time on the bench until her father realizes she has something to offer.

D MacDuff (Macbeth) – Need a steadying defense at the end? MacDuff can shut a game down and make opponents feel that their grasp of the game was "untimely rip'd"

M Puck (A Midsummer Night's Dream) – Fast, mischievous, Puck'll do whatever it's told in order to sow confusion among the opponent's defense, and is clever enough on the ball to make any marker look like an ass.

M Ariel (The Tempest) – Sometimes you need a bit of magic on the ball, and Ariel is a great choice. Excellent at winning midfield headers, like most Elemental Internationals.

M Hamlet -- Transfer listed, he never seems to have settled in and lacks confidence in his decision making. May have been affected by the death of his father, it is hoped that a transfer back to Elsinore FC where he'll be closer to mother and girlfriend (Bianca.... er, Ophelia) will provide him the comfort level to flourish.

F Lady Macbeth (Macbeth) – When Macbeth can't get it done, she'll come into the game and finish it off.

F Ulysses (Troilus and Cressida) [on loan from Ithaca United] – Excellent at picking the lock of another team's impenetrable fortress, and popular for talking with other players and coaxing the best performance out of them. Many fans demanding he see regular starting time, but they're just a bunch of Homers.

INJURED RESERVE

M Richard III – Leg and back problems plaguing this potential star, rumors of a bad attitude also surround him.

Addition Through Adderly

WELCOME THE NEW NICK: Steve Goff reports that forward Nicholas Adderly is signed. I imagine this is something you probably won't notice this year unless you attend reserve games, which we certainly intend to do. If we see anything of interest, we'll let you know. Look, this is a shot that if it pays dividends, it'll be in a year or two, and if it doesn't? Well, that's why you have the reserve league.

BRADLEY - "MORENO MUST IGNITE": Jeff Bradley at MLSNet sez: "show me a good D.C. team, I'll show you a productive Jaime Moreno." Well, true as far as it goes, but we'll see. Moreno doesn't have the tear up the league for us to be successful. Productive, sure, but "all-star forward" - mebbe not.

UPCOMING ON DCENTERS: We're trying to get an expert to come in on Thursday or Friday for the Columbus game, and we'll have a game briefing on Friday or Saturday morning. Also, I'm working on a new feature that I hope will be somewhat cool, and I hope to have a version up either today or tomorrow.