02 October 2007

The Official DCenters Post-Chivas Sudamericana Excuses List

Here at DCenters, we like to make our reader's lives easy at every chance we get, particularly after elimination from an international tournament for the second year in a row. Below, pleased to be finding a pre-compiled list of excuses to help rationalize the loss internally, or if you find debating it with other fans.
  1. The ref was crap. (Tradition requires us to post this regardless of facts).
  2. The coach has mush for brains (Traditon also requires us to include this).
  3. I knew bunkering for 90 minutes wouldn't work. (The I-was-never-emotionally-invested excuse)
  4. Their goal keeper had the game of his career against us. (For perpetual optimists)
  5. This team is crap, they never had a real chance. (For perpetual pessimists)
  6. This tournament is mostly meaningless for us, winning it doesn't qualify us for another tournament. (Our-trophy-is-full enough, aka the anti-metrostars excuse).
  7. We were without two starters, Burch and Fred, MLS rosters aren't built for international tournaments (For use by the team depth critics)
  8. (Player X) shouldn't have started the game, he always plays like crap. (For those that know there's still a diamond in the rough sitting on our bench)
  9. I heard someone tampered with the teams food prior to the match (Especially for conspiracy theorists).
  10. This tournament was a distraction, now we can concentrate on the SS and MLS Cup (Tournament, what tournament?)
  11. We need a star (pick one: goalkeeper/defender/midfielder/forward) on this team to be competitive. (aka, the Lalas Paradox)
  12. We'd have won if we'd hosted the second leg at home. (i-believe-in-home-field-advantage)
  13. The American player relies on athleticism not skill. Somehow this explains (something) (What Latin players, I don't see no Latin players)
  14. An American team has never won against a Mexican team in Mexico. (Its been pre-ordained - one can not go against the will of god).

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At 03 October, 2007 01:03, Blogger edgell supporter said...

As if I needed any help. I think I hit on most of them... at least 5 for sure.

At 03 October, 2007 07:05, Anonymous bdr said...

What about the United didn't have time in its busy schedule to adjust to the altitude excuse?

At 03 October, 2007 08:30, Blogger scaryice said...

You should've posted it before the match started.

At 03 October, 2007 09:31, Blogger Bob said...

How could McTavish be expected to concentrate on this game after the big newspaper article about him in the Winchester Star?

At 03 October, 2007 12:03, Blogger Kinney said...

Clearly it was the altitude. Right? :)

At 03 October, 2007 13:47, Blogger The Manly Ferry said...

Hmm...I think I'll line one of these up for the U.S. Open Cup final tonight. Brilliant.

At 04 October, 2007 11:14, Anonymous Skippy said...

I appreciate the list of excuses, but I have to own up to this one. This lose was my fault. You see, I was conducting my ritual pre-game animal sacrifice, but I forgot that DC was playing away. So I disembowled the chicken from top-to-bottom rather than bottom-to-top as the rules of Santeria dictate. So clearly, I angered the gods and brought their wrath upon United. My bad, sorry.

P.S. Can anyone loan me bail money? Who knew Montgomery County was so picky about it's animal slaughter regulations?


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