Fo'shizzle?

I'm trying, as a general rule, to adhere to the basic principle of "don't poke fun at people less powerful than you are." Now, that doesn't make a whole lot of people off-limits, but when a writer at MLSNet is assigned to cover the Maxim US Squad photo-shoot, well, I think poor Jason Halpin fits that category. Now, others have noticed how ridiculous the photos are. But I wanted to look at an excerpt of Mr. Halpin's article:

Actually, the discussion of rap and hip-hop music took up most of Dempsey's time in front of the camera. It was an exposition, a history lesson on his influences.

From humble beginnings listening to Vanilla Ice - whom Dempsey now admits is "whack" - and MC Hammer, the Nagocdoches, Texas, native moved on in junior high to Master P and the Underground Kings.

How do I say this? Well, if you read that quote aloud (please do) doesn't it sound like, well, um... white. Really white. As in token-white-guy-in-a-blacksploitation -film-chosen-for-his-glasses-and-sweater-vest- and-just-overall-whiteness-to-show-how-ridiculously-white-some-white-people-are white. The whack in quotes just puts it over the top. It's not Mr. Halpin's fault. I mean, he's doing his job, and trying to respect Clint "Deuce" Dempsey's lyrical flow, but man... It's tough. Jason, if you are out there, and you chance across this blog entry, I will buy you a beer in DC for your troubles. That can't have been an easy assignment to take with a straight face from your Perry White (hah!) lookin' editor. I feel for you.

For more on the difficulty of articulating the hip scene with a non-hip ethos, you can always listen to Rod McKuen's "No Pictures, Please" on the Beat Generation Boxed Set. Or, more satirically, listen to all of Del Close's tracks on that set of 3 CDs.