The Exorcism of Facundo Erpen

FC Dallas 1 : 2 DC United

Outside the house, the priest and mother consult. A small boy stands between them and the open doorway. Suddenly, he seems to levitate into the air. His legs spin in unnatural geometries, his head erratically snaps back and forth in the air. Surely no human body should be able to withstand the forces that cascade throughout his body.

The mother turns, her eyes wide. "Is this the devil? Has Satan made my poor child his unholy home?"

For an answer, the priest selects a ball from the side of the house, and throws it at the open door. The boy... accelerates, spinning upside down, and the ball shoots back and nearly removes the priest's head. "It is not the devil." The priest crosses himself. "It is worse... It is soccer."