You Can't Go Home Again

(Above: Auld lang syne [AP Photo])

DCU 2 : 0 Colorado Rapids

The following audio was captured by a parabola microphone operator during a series of corner kicks taken by DC United in a match against the Colorado Rapids.

UNIDIENTIFIED MALE VOICE #1: Ben, how ya been man? I see RFK hasn't changed much since I... since I had to leave.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE VOICE #2: Yeah, it's pretty awful.
VOICE #1: I don't know... I miss the place. Walking down the crumbling tunnels to the pitch, well, it brought back memories.
VOICE #2: Well, I'm glad to hear that.
VOICE #1: Yeah...You guys miss me, right?
VOICE #2: Of course we do...

[Sound a whistle, grunting, another whistle...]

VOICE #1: Hey Dema
VOICE #3: Yes?
VOICE #1: Who's Number 5?
VOICE #3: That's Facundo. He's hilarious. And, he's easy money. I bet him $100 he couldn't do more than three bike clearences a game last week.
VOICE #1: Oh... So, um, Peter likes him?
VOICE #3: Oh yes.
VOICE #1: Do you think Peter would take me back again?
VOICE #3: Well, maybe if you changed your name to something more Argentinian.

[Sound a whistle, grunting, the sound of a ball being headed out, another whistle...]

VOICE #1: Give it to me. I can't stand Diego, I wanna come back.
VOICE #4: «What do you want? Who is this crazy man?»*
VOICE #1: The skiing isn't even that good. Now let me have it!
VOICE #4: «Let go of my shirt! Are you mad?»
VOICE #1: You can't leave me here! It's too awful! Cannon stole my hairtsyle!
VOICE #4: «Help! I am being assaulted!»

*Translated via a grant from Verizon.