Too Proud to Beg. Well, not really.

For those familiar with Deadspin, you know that their commenting rights work on an invitation process. I have not been invited, but I damn well should have been. Of course, one can ask for an invitation, but that seems like getting your mom to talk to Danny's mom so you can go to Danny's 10th birthday party after all the other kids got invitations. In other words, lame. No, if I'm gonna be invited to comment over there, I want Will Leitch to hit the send button personally.

Of course, that assumes that Will even knows who I am. So, in true blogger style, I am turning to you to do my work for me. If you think I should be a Deadspin commentator, go ahead and email tips@deadspin.com and tell them to send the invite over to the gmail address at the right. Need talking points? Here are a few:

1. I noticed when Deadspin finally fixed their topic menu so Soccer articles would show up.


2. Deadspin linked to me once, and in the process took a shot at all of us MLS addicts. Considering they're part of the Gawker media empire with Wonkette, Lifehacker, et al, I bet their little bleeding hearts feel bad about it and would like to make it up to me.


3. I know the difference between Wayne Rooney and Andy Rooney. I also could probably make a sculpture of both using a gold potato and a paper towel roll.


4. Seriously, Deadspin needs commentators who are at least going to pretend to be outraged by things said in comment threads.


5. Since it seems to dominate much of their coverage, I will devote myself to helping an MLS player come out of the closet publicly. I will then wait patiently while they make the obligatory "but we are still waiting for a player from a major men's sports league to come out."


6. I might even have an MLS fantasy draft sheet I could let them borrow. If they're very nice to me.

So yeah, drop them an email and we'll see if they end up sending an offer my way. If you think I'm worth taking the time for. Or something. Of course, it's entire that by devoting an entire post to this topic, I've made myself look more desperate, in a "I'm so glad he's out of my life, now I can get on with being single, it's great, here are all the reasons I don't need him, and all the thing I burned when we broke up, but I hope he calls me" sort of way. But it is too late for that now.