Loogie Victims Unit

FADE IN:

Scene: A concrete HOLDING CELL. A mirror is on a wall up right. A bench is fixed to the ground upstage. CHRISTIAN GOMEZ is sprawled on the bench, in a rumpled but recognizable DC United kit. He's whistling a tune aimlessly.

A bell sounds.

SEAN TAYLOR enteres the room. He is in the white-on-white road uniform of the Washington Redskins, except for his socks which seem to be recently liberated from Whoville. He paces back and forth. GOMEZ watches his, timing his whistling to TAYLOR's paces. For a few moments, the only sounds are GOMEZ's whistles and TAYLOR's heavy footsteps. TAYLOR whirls on GOMEZ

TAYLOR

Do you have to keep doing that?

GOMEZ

Pardon.

Beat. TAYLOR turns away, GOMEZ starts whistling again.

TAYLOR

I said--

GOMEZ

Pardon, pardon.

They stare at each other

GOMEZ

So what are you in for?

TAYLOR

I didn't do anything. It was that punk Pittman.

GOMEZ

Of course you didn't do anything. But what do they think you did?

TAYLOR

They say I hocked one over that Pittman fellow. But I didn't do that. He just mad over the way we were playing him. The only running back he was doing was running back to his mama after I laid on on him. But then he was acting like I was all Danny Thomas on him

GOMEZ

Well, of course, they have film...

TAYLOR

There ain't no film. It didn't happen. No proof there was anything to it, because there wasn't... why are you so interested anyways?

GOMEZ

I'm in for the same thing. But they got me good. Camera caught a cloud of spit, as if God himself had sneezed on CJ Brown. A thousand droplets of split, caught as though a crystal, and they fell to the earth like the dreams of the RFK fans.

TAYLOR

Why'd you do it?

GOMEZ

I was angry. We were losing. He was a whiny punk. It did not matter, it was right that I was sent off. I have since apologized, and wait here only to serve out my suspension.

TAYLOR

Well, we weren't losing.

GOMEZ

But you did spit on him?

TAYLOR

I didn't say that! People know I'm a competitor, but I don't go around slobbering like Mike Tice checking the prices at Stubhub.com.

GOMEZ

Of course you didn't. You are just competitive.

TAYLOR

I came from The U. Competitive is what we do. Football, dice, playing the dozens--

GOMEZ

Gum?

TAYLOR

What?

GOMEZ

Would you like some gum? He puts a stick in his mouth, and holds out another to TAYLOR.

TAYLOR

What flavor? ...I like Big Red.

GOMEZ

You're in luck. TAYLOR takes the stick, pops it in his mouth So you were mad?

TAYLOR

Of course I was mad. They've tried to get me before. The DUI. TJ Nebeckenezzer. They're trying to get me.

GOMEZ

And Pittman?

TAYLOR

He's just a small minded fool, upset that I had more trips to the end zone than he did. He said he was gonna get credit for taking out the team. Man, even Eastern's Motors wouldn't give him credit for finding the john in the morning

GOMEZ

Gets up from the bench, walks to TAYLORHe was talking trash?

TAYLOR

All sorts.

GOMEZ

You chew your gum loudly.

TAYLOR

Pauses mid chew. I get emotional. My jaw starts working

GOMEZ

And you were emotional with Pittman

TAYLOR

Yeah. But I didn't spit on him.

GOMEZ

Were you chewing gum?

TAYLOR

Might have been. So what?

GOMEZ

And Pittman, he was in a Tampa uniform?

TAYLOR

Suspicous. Yes...

GOMEZ

And you got in his face. Jaw working. No spittle, not even a bit?

TAYLOR

Indignant. No! I don't do that!

GOMEZ

We all get mad. Even me. One week, I'm the toast of the town, drumming with La Barra and the Eagles in the stands. The next, and people curse my name. Happened to you didn't it. You're afraid. Afraid that if you get nailed for this, you'll end up like LaVar, relegated to substitute packages in a Williams defense for the next three years...

TAYLOR

He wouldn't do that! I recovered the fumble for six!

GOMEZ

Leaps onto the bench, his chest now at Taylor's face. And LaVar got an intereception!

TAYLOR

Shouting. Williams had my back after the game!

Pause. Gomez reaches down to the white stripes on his kit, and pushes his hand across the uniform. A red streak appears.

GOMEZ

His diction changes... it becomes more hesitant, softer. He starts gesturing randomly with his hands... You couldn't see it on a red uniform. The chewing gum, its, the dyes... they... get into the saliva. Change the color. Red on red, wouldn't have shown up on TV.

TAYLOR

Heartbroken. I didn't... It shouldn't have happened.

GOMEZ

It was an accident. He raps on the mirror. It's okay, you can apologize, pay a fine, be back for Seattle. A DETECTIVE enters, and leads TAYLOR from the room. DETECTIVE EAMES enters. GOMEZ pulls off a mission impossible mask to reveal DETECTIVE ROBERT GOREN.

EAMES

Cynical. Is there a moral here?

GOREN

If there was... Now is when I was say something ambigously profound...

CUT TO:

TITLE CARD: Executive Producer, Dick Wolf.

FADE OUT.